How to Connect With Your Kids

Hello everyone! I hope you have been having a great week! Now that we are officially on summer vacation {yippee!}, I have a little more time to spend chilling out with the boys.  I know we all say it but, man, do kids ever grow up fast!!  Connor will be off to Kindergarten in September and it is kind of hitting me hard.  As wonderful as it is to watch them grow older I do miss the younger years some times. 

I have been spending a lot of time thinking over the past couple of weeks what to do with the kids over our summer vacation.  I will still be working 3 days per week but that still leaves me an extra two days to spend with the kiddos.  When I am planning things to do with the kids, I can sometimes get a little caught up in the planning stages and not enough time actually doing and enjoying.  This summer I am hoping to spend more time on the simpler things and being more intentional when I am with them.

I have put together a list of simple things that can be done easily on a daily basis to show my kids how much I love them and how special they are.    Many {if not all!} of these ideas are not anything earth shattering but serve as a reminder of how I want my relationship with my children to be.  Let me start by saying that this is my ideal way to parent and I know that there will be times that life’s stresses may get in the way.  All of these ideas may not all work for you and your family but hopefully they will give you a little boost in those crazy times! 

Always remember that you are enough.
Yes, it is true. Our children just need us. They do not need a fancy vacation or the most expensive toy in the store. They do not need us to do all of those fabulous projects on Pinterest that we have pinned to do with them {and I have a ton!}. They just need us to love them, spend time with them, and listen to them. Really. Even at the end of long day, 15 minutes of uninterrupted, completely-devoted-to-them time goes a long way. If we can remember one thing, let’s remember this! 

Create special traditions with your kids.
Traditions will long be remembered by your children and give them something to look forward to and count on. Remember that traditions are not only for holidays and special occasions – have one night per week that the kids pick the meal or create a “Fun Friday” tradition that every Friday night you do something together as a family. Just be creative! If your children are a little older, let them come up with their own tradition ideas. 

Eat family meals together.
Yes, we have all heard how important it is to eat together as a family. This can sometimes be challenging to accomplish with work schedules and kids activities but we do try to do this as much as possible. Dinner is a great time to encourage conversations. Have everyone share the best {and even the worst!} parts of their day. If you can’t all eat together at dinner, have a family dessert a little later in the evening {there’s nothing like a little treat to get our kids to open up!}

 

There is not really anything better than a great big heart felt hug and kiss from one of your kids and I think we all try to soak this up for as long as possible.  Kisses, hugs, Eskimo kisses, holding hands, big bear hugs, back rubs, cuddles in bed – there are many different ways to show affection.   Find out what your child likes best.  For many kids, big bear hugs can be very calming.  For kids that don’t want to kiss, an Eskimo kiss or blowing kisses are great alternatives.  My oldest is not a big cuddler, so we have this routine where we will touch our foreheads together for our “kiss”.  Remember to thank your kids for their affection and tell them how much you enjoy this.

Go on a date.
Take your child out on a “date” every now and then. If they are a little older, involve them in picking out the activity. It could be a dinner out at a favorite restaurant, an afternoon spent at the park, or a trip to the zoo. It would also be fun to surprise them with their date – show up at school unexpectedly to pick them up or leave them clues through the week to have them try to guess where you are going.
 

Make time to listen.
Now really, kids do say the funniest things!  Other times though, we have to listen to the same stories over and over again.  But you know what?  You never know when that story might change.  And you don’t want to miss it!  Remember that these thoughts are important to our little ones and will establish a good connection for further conversations {think teenage years…} Take the time to really listen.

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Write down their stories.
I have a little journal that I created to write down funny stories or other memories that I wanted to remember.  Now, when one of my kids says something funny, they will often ask if I am going to write it down in my book {or post it on Facebook!}  This will be a fun book to look back on with the kids when they are a little older and really shows them that I value what they say.

Write little notes for your kids and leave them in unexpected places – a sticky note on the mirror, a note in their lunchbox, or a little message placed at their bedside to see when they wake up. I also write a love letter once per year {I do mine on their birthdays but I have heard of others doing them on Mother’s Day or at the beginning of each year} sharing my thoughts on the year that has past, what I love about them, and all of their accomplishments that they have achieved.

I picked up these little notes from the dollar bin at Target.  They have a cute little saying on the front and some room to write a note on the back – “Today I love you because…”

Have a bedtime ritual.
Every night at bedtime, we lay down with each of the kids and talk about the day and what they have planned for the next day. It is a great time to get the kids to talk as they are generally more relaxed. I get way more information out of them during this time than I do the whole day and it can make for some interesting conversations! {If you are looking for more specific questions that you can ask, there are some fun ones here.}

Try “time ins”
You know when your kids start to get really whiny? And you really just want them to go away? Try taking a little time out of whatever you are doing and spending 5-10 minutes with them to work on some calming activities. Cuddle and read a book, just sit and chat, or play a quiet game with them. Often, if I can give the kids a little extra attention right when they are starting to misbehave, I can get them back on track and avoid future melt downs.

Remember old memories.
My kids love looking through their old scrapbooks or listening to a story about something funny they did when they were little.  Creating a scrapbook does not have to be anything fancy – really it is just pictures and some journaling {you can check out my easy Scrapbook method here} Even if you no longer print your pictures out, sit down at the computer with the kids and look through old photos. Bedtime is also a great time to recall favorite memories. It is fun looking back and it helps our kids remember all of the great memories that we have created.

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Limit Screen Time.
This one might be the most obvious one, but can often be the biggest culprit of them all! Be clear about the amount of time that the kids can spend using the computer, video games, or television so you do not have to have a battle everyday. Sometimes, screen time can work to your advantage though. If you have older kids, sit down with them and have them explain their video games to you {I know my kids think it is pretty funny how bad I am!}. Or have a show that you watch together as a family. My little guy loves watching Wipeout and we get quite a few laughs out of this!

Watch your kids sleep.
There is nothing sweeter than watching your child sleep.  I find this particularly helpful at the end of those “trying” days!  They always look so sweet cuddling their stuffies and all curled up in their beds – any left over frustration towards them always seems to disappear.  The kids love seeing pictures that I have taken of them sleeping or hearing what position I found them in when I came to kiss them in at night {they are often sideways, sprawled out starfish style, or turned around backwards in their beds}  

Send them mail.
Now who doesn’t love to receive actual mail?  Write up a little letter and send it off!  Another fun way is to create a book that you and your child can pass back and forth with little notes to each other.  It makes a wonderful keepsake to look back on {you can find the tutorial HERE}.

Make food fun!
It is amazing how much my kids love it when I make something out of food.  It does not even have to be anything particularly creative or difficult.  Kids are pretty easy to impress!  Connor loves to make “Mr. Tortilla Heads” {from Toy Story 3} with a tortilla and a variety of veggies and cheese for all of the body parts and Matthew loves “Banana Ghosts” {half a banana with chocolate chips for the eyes}  These apple frogs are also a favorite around our house.  Try mixing things up and have breakfast for dinner or dessert first. 

Have a secret love word or nickname.
I don’t know what it is about nicknames, but a special name that is just between you and your child creates a special bond.  My Dad always called me “Pooch” when I was growing up.  Although I would never allow anyone else to call me this, it was somehow endearing coming from my Dad.  You can also come up with a special word or saying to use in place of “I Love You”.  The kids and I always say “Elephant Juice” since it looks like you are saying “I love you” if you watch your lips.

Get outside.
Take your kids out to the park or for a nature hike.  Kids love to explore and there are so many new experiences that you gain in the great outdoors.  It is a great time to connect with your kids away from cell phones, video games and the T.V.

Have a parting routine.
Have a special routine that you do every time you leave your kids.  Try to know at least one thing that they will be doing while you are gone so you can ask them about it when you get back.  Have a special good-bye that you do  – it could be a funny kiss or hug or a specific saying that you have.  The whole “See you Later Alligator” is always fun and we like to play around with these answers {“Better Swish Jellyfish” is my personal fav!} 

Read to and with your kids.
I try and read with the kids at least 30 minutes per day.  For us, it is usually just before bedtime but, depending on the ages of your kids and your schedule, anytime during the day works.  Pick a comfy reading spot where you can cuddle up together.  Take turns picking out and reading stories.  Even the younger kids who can’t yet read can look at the pictures of a familiar book and tell a story.

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Have a home campout with your kids.
Kids love camping but sometimes it can be hard to actually get away.  Plan a campout in your backyard {or even in your living room!} and do all of the fun camping activities that you would normally do – sleep in a tent, have a fire, enjoy some camping food, stay up late and look at the stars.  Make sure you leave the electronics behind.  Oh, and don’t forget the smores!

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Set a regular time each week to do a family activity – play a game, go bowling, or try a new activity.  Time just seems to disappear on us if we do not have a specific time set.  Sit down and write out a big list of activities that you would like to do and take turns each week picking the activity. 

Laugh and be silly with your kids.
I think this is probably the best way for our kids to think that we are pretty cool.  Share some jokes together and take some time to just be silly!

Say I Love You.
Well, you can’t get much simpler than this.  Tell your child you love them as much as possible and at unexpected times. {And even when you’re mad!}  I know actions speak louder than words but you just can’t go wrong with an “I Love You”!

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Remember that is the connections that we create with our children that are important and that it is the quality of the time that we spend with them that they will remember.  So take some time this summer to slow down and enjoy some simple moments with your kids.  The payoff will be well worth it!

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By the way, I’ll Love You Forever by Robert Munsch is an absolute must read with your kids.  I cry EVERY time!!!

So what do you do to connect with your kids?  I’d love to hear your ideas!

I linked up with Tip Junkie, Today’s Creative Blog, Craft-O-Maniac, Tatertots and Jello, Chic on a Shoestring, The 36th Avenue, Uncommon, Lil Luna, Not Just a Housewife, A Bowl Full of Lemons, Skip to My Lou, Under the Table and Dreaming, Positively Splendid, I Heart Naptime, Be Different Act Normal, Funky Junk Interiors, Whipperberry, Tidy Mom, Delightful Order, Stone Gable, The Shabby Creek and The 36th Avenue.